Since I've moved to Dallas 3 years ago, I haven't gone on a single date!
I've been in the online connection game since 1994/1995. Hell, 1 of my best friends I meet navigating through chat communities and discussion boards as well as an unrequited love. I'm not shy when it comes to meeting strangers because I've made some great friends and love through the experience. It seems back then the landscape was less about the catfish but acknowledging commonalities with a genuine willingness to connect in real life with others. There is an willingness and openness that is necessary for this to work.
It seems that as accessibility to technology (especially cell phones) increased and the communities became saturated, the motive to connect shifted and sped up. I mean don't get me wrong, there have always been those who trolled for sex but the once "ASL" and scheduled online dates have progressed to a quick "hi" and a compliment followed immediately by a request or delivery of a phone number to text instead because "I'm not online like that".
I found an article that called this:
"Fast love - Within one or two communications, they profess strong feelings, including love, and encourage you to move off of a dating site. Con artists’ prefer to communicate by text or telephone, instead of leaving their trail online."
I don't know if they are con artists per se but it makes me feel some kind of way when I have to slow the encounter down. For one, my phone number is an extension of my personal, intimate space, right?! I then think about how back in the days, I use to give out my number in the club BUT even then some got a fake number. Secondly, people feel like you have to respond immediately when they text you, right?! This created unnecessary drama because I'm definitely not someone who has my phone with me at all times. Lastly, we are at ease with texting to the point that I recall looking up and had been texting a guy for months and had never hear his voice unless I requested it. Ultimately, giving out the phone number early is a catch 22 because if you are interested you want to connect but for many the buck stops there. No longer are people seeking penpals but text buddies is the rave. No thanks, I don't have unlimited text messaging but I do accept phone calls when I'm free.
In the past 4 years, I've been on countless dating sites and social media sites and it seems the more others become comfortable with this idea of socializing remotely, the less I want to partake in it. It use to be such a relaxing place, especially for an introvert, to interact with others and get to know them before even deciding to take it to the next level and meet. Today's hyper-speed "connecting" has muddled the landscape of relationships and where it seems everyone is running to the clearing, I'm seeking for a forest to go off the grid in.
This winter I actually deleted all my dating site accounts. Funny thing is my friend, the 1 mentioned as a best friend who I met online, decided to create a profile for me on Plenty of Fish (pof) to get me a date. I let her vet the guys and send over who she felt would be a good match. Many of the guys, who she felt would be a good match I had previous interaction with and they all became Franklin Swift and re-enacted "Disappearing Acts" again. Again, these guys got caught in the texting matrix and aren't even thinking about asking me out on a date. FOH!
After talking to a online buddy about the woes of dating (or lack thereof), we decided to do try one more time. This my last at bat and I'm swinging for the fence before I retire my jersey and disappear completely. I will be documenting this throughout Spring of 2015 to also get back into writing regularly.
I look forward to sharing with you my type, have selected my site of choice and a host of other things during this journey for Computer Love to Real Love.
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