She's RAW & CLEAN

I have always leaned more towards the healthy spectrum of eating however, you would never know this by looking at me.

Sugar is my drug of choice and my thighs suffer because of it. My mom use to say, "You'd lose those thighs if you let Lil' Debbie go," needless to say my love affair with her has survived the test of time.

One of my favorite books is "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair and it addresses the meat packing industry. I became a vegetarian for a couple of years.

Currently, my dietary goal is to be a Raw and Clean Eating. I have been learning more about being a raw foodist and have embarked on sprouting pumpkin seeds (stinky and bitter)and quinoa, fermenting wheat berries to make rejuvelac (can't wait to start flavoring it) and marinating collard greens and mixed veggies. I aspire to be a healthy eater however, I find myself slipping and knowing what my goal is I haven't gone 100% raw but I've been doing 2 raw meals a day and 1 cooked.

It has been made official that I am lactose intolerant, it was interesting to feel how immediate my body reacted to diary (nutmilk here I come) and I have burped everyday since I've been eating this way which is not typical for me. Not sure what that is all about.

Eating clean is often what bodybuilders refer to when they are training. Its eliminating processed foods and artificial additives and preservatives from the diet. Lean meat is suitable and is typically eaten with a carb or vegetable. Basically you are feeding the muscles, amping up the metabolism and starving the fat with several small meals a day. Herbs and spices can be used to season the food.

I suspect our ancestors were Raw & Clean so let's take it back!

Checking Your Connections

I have been thinking about connections a lot lately especially as it relates to friendship. I've learned in the past ten years that people don't allow themselves to connect nearly as much as they could with others. We are constantly analyzing the situation to fast forward it to where we think it is really going but unfortunately connecting is something we can't force.

Many people miss out on this amazing life altering event simply because they are afraid. Afraid of being hurt, betrayed, used, loved, etc. Along with the fear comes to confusion of what the connection really is. I will admit I've connected with people and immediately assumed it was an intimate one, because it felt so GOOD, instead I jumped the gun and neglected to lay the foundation in a friendship. Unfortunately, jumping the gun takes kismet out of the equation and severs the connection before its truly rooted within.

I've never been the type to have loads of friends but I have a handful of people who no matter the amount of time passed we seem to always pick up where we left off. Deep inside I feel like we are only treading the surface of the connection but I know my resistance to devulge my inner being keeps us there but because they are my friends they wait patiently.

Friendship should be enriching, nurturing and boundless connections so what is the majority of my relationships called because I rarely feel good in them. Some people I feel connected to but its crystal clear that the feeling isn't mutual. Why would I say this? Well, its based on how they make me feel and my inability to be myself unapologetically. I feel that I am just a placeholder, a gag gift, a cesspool for their perverse thoughts, an afterthought. It makes me question how I treat people because I am only a reflection of the people in my life. Am I taking people for granted, not calling, cancelling at the last minute time and time again, not telling them how much they mean to me?

I don't feel as though I've genuinely connected with another in a while and that scares and makes me sad.

When was the last time you really connected with someone?

Spirituality Quotes

Just when I found out the meaning of life, they changed it. - George Carlin

Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of Nature. And it is because in the last analysis we ourselves are part of the mystery we are trying to solve. - Max Planck, Nobel Laureate and Father of Quantum Physics

Do not be idolatrous or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology. All systems of thought are guiding means; they are not absolute truth. - Vietnamese Zen Monk Thich Nhat Hanh

The purpose of the spiritual life is to be happy...The reason why men seeks for happiness is not because happiness is his own being; therefore, in seeking for happiness, man is seeking for himself. - Sufi Master Hazrat Inayat Khan

Lest ye become as little children, ye shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. - Jesus

Happy Sunday,

ME

What is Spirituality?

In the last post I mentioned I was reading "The Seeker's Guide" by Elizabeth Lesser. I was introduced to this book through Raw Foodist, Kevin Gianni who mentioned in the foreword or intro of his book "High Raw" that this book changed how he lived his life. (One of the great things about reading is how jewels are sprinkled inside as possible influential landmarks in our lives.)

She asks "What is Spirituality?" and then explains that after surveying and interviewing 200 spiritual leaders it was apparent that there is no right answer.

Spirituality is NOT the same as religion. I've said it for years that I'm not religious however, I don't think I've ever truly defined what being spiritual meant for me. I had an idea of what the vision looked and felt like but never really invited spirituality in my life with a definite intent.

According to Lesser, defining this idea/tenet for oneself is the first step in the journey of life's great adventure. So, I begin by forgetting everything I think I know about anything, becoming comfortable with the unknown and displaying fearlessness as I embrace a "beginner's mind" which is similar to that of a young child's optimistic, wide open nature of questioning.

This will be uncomfortable for me but I can only imagine the sense of relief it will bring my mind, body and spirit to NOT fear the unknown and be okay with not knowing.

Buddhists use the word "shamatha" to define spirituality which means "tranquil abiding". One of the values in my life is Happiness and it always seems that the key to this is within my definition of spirituality.

My heart is so heavy thus in this state of being happy with a light heart seems impossible however, there are things I have to do so that I can relax such as letting go of the thought of perfection since this is NOT reality and admitting I don't know something.

Returning to the idea of the "Beginner's mind", as coined by Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki, is about "discovering the essence of our humanness" in other words our true nature and an attitude of divine possibilities.

While I continue to consider my definition of spirituality, I do know that it involves happiness, living gleefully in the present, balancing the mind, body, heart and spirit.

What is spirituality to you?

[Quotes to follow]

*Lesser, E. (1999). "The Seeker's Guide: Making Your Life A Spiritual Adventure." Villard: New York

Breaking It Down

I have been experiencing loads of blocks and decided that this is probably because I over complicate things thus adding more to my mental reducing any chance to have a clear mind. I'm going to start HERE, today because I have like 50 blog pages for various aspects of myself however TODAY I have making a merge. If I feel like posting a story, my academic experience, my spiritual journey, etc...its all me at the end of the day paddling through the murky water of life.

Update on my "currentlies" :

Reading: The Seeker's Guide by Elizabeth Lesser
Eating: Raw and Clean
Loving: ME
Drinking: Water and Rejuvelac
Wearing: Size "shut your mouth"
Hair-Style: Kinky Twists
Thinking: About my present and future
Feeling: Pensive
Studying: IO Psychology, Leadership, Spirituality, Moon Phases
Writing: Master ARP (Applied Research Project)...more on that later

Loving,
ME