Sunday, November 11, 2012
Being Victorious - Episode 2
Vlog Challenge of the Week
1. Do ONE thing you have always wanted to do but have been afraid. I'm going to try to make a sangria and lasagna. Feel free to send recipes :)!
2. Read Audre Lorde's "A Litany of Survival" below:
For those of us who live at the shoreline
standing upon the constant edges of decision
crucial and alone
for those of us who cannot indulge
the passing dreams of choice
who love in doorways coming and going
in the hours between dawns
looking inward and outward
at once before and after
seeking a now that can breed
futures
like bread in our children's mouths
so their dreams will not reflect
the death of ours:
For those of us
who were imprinted with fear
like a faint line in the center of our foreheads
learning to be afraid with our mother's milk
for by this weapon
this illusion of some safety to be found
the heavy-footed hoped to silence us
For all of us
this instant and this triumph
We were never meant to survive.
And when the sun rises we are afraid
it might not remain
when the sun sets we are afraid
it might not rise in the morning
when our stomachs are full we are afraid
of indigestion
when our stomachs are empty we are afraid
we may never eat again
when we are loved we are afraid
love will vanish
when we are alone we are afraid
love will never return
and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid
So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive
- Audre Lorde, The Black Unicorn
Extra: Here is a good video from bell hooks on Voice.
Do it afraid,
V
Wednesday, November 07, 2012
Repost: A Pawn of Love (Erotica)
This piece was re-worked and featured in EROS adult anthology in 2010. Enjoy the complete piece.
I was a member of the Happy Hour community at Café.com and chatting under the handle “BlackIce”. I was a pecan tan brother with hazel eyes and some “good hair” as the women love to say. I had been working out so I had some definition in my once bird chest and added some thickness to my chicken legs. I got a lot of responses from the ladies when I showed off my picture, especially the one where I wasn’t wearing anything but a white towel and big koolaid smile.
I felt like I truly belonged there and was so comfortable that I would greet folks as they came into the room. However one day, I got a private message and me being the charismatic host I was I replied without a thought.
UniqueVision: Hi! I’m new here...how do I get people to talk to me?
BlackIce: Welcome! Just jump into the conversation…the people are very nice in here…enjoy yourself.
UniqueVision: Thanks for the welcome. Ill try to get in where I fit in. *s* So, where are you from?
BlackIce: No need for thanks! I’m from da dirty south and U?
So this was the beginning, although I had no idea that she had been eyeing me for weeks before she launched the blitz by moving her first piece out slowly. I didn’t really pay her any mind because I had my sights on throwing those worn out ‘punk ass’ speedos away and putting on some ‘freaky’ briefs. She was a bit too far away to help me with my situation but little did I know she had other ideas for me and popping my freak cherry wasn’t one of them. Months passed and I was cordial to her and she always spoke to me whenever she saw me online.
Then just as I lost my freak she seemed to have set the game on speed cause I got an email from her. Personally, I was a bit baffled as to how she had gotten my email address. Hell, maybe I gave it to her in passing but I have no recollection of it. But honestly during this time period I didn’t have much memory of anything with her. It was as if she was an “indefinite article” in a sentence or a song that is constantly skipped on a CD.
To: BlackIce@hotmail.com
From: UniqueVision@hotmail.com
Subject: Something interesting….
In the land of cyber sex and alter egos
A constant ray of peace and realness lingers
When you come in it follows you where ever you go.
Cool water blue with fiery impulse red highlights
Your magnetic yet quiet ambiance
Is so strangely alluring and comforting.
There’s an intoxicating nectar of calmness
Glistening on your regal lips
But its tainted with loneliness in your right eye
And airbrushed with animalistic craving in your left.
Endless dreams of waltzes and two steps
Sending the room into a canvas of watercolors
Is that smile or a frown?
Hard to tell as everything is bleeding together.
Can I follow you?
Can I come in?
Can I be some company for your right eye?
Can you see yet?
Honestly she did a sneak attack on my mind and sacked my heart for a 10 yard loss. I truly didn’t see her coming but this second move was definitely not subtle but it was tactical enough to get my full attention. I swear the blinders melted from my heart when I read the last line of the poem. She waited patiently for me to wipe that ‘punk ass’ look off my face and put my freak game face on with pride.
I immediately wrote her back apologizing for ignoring her and praised her on the truth that she painted with her words. She was understanding and gracious and told me to forget about the past and enjoy the present. Nevertheless, I was a bit ashamed of myself for being so self contained for months as I was on the prowl for a taste of the honey love.
As I began to sponge her up, she tickled and fondled emotions I didn’t know existed. She was one of those women that made you feel like you could fly with clipped wings. She had a lot of substance skimming the surface of her essence and even more in the abyss of her soul. I felt like I was water-skiing and scuba diving whenever I talked with her online.
She was a spoken word artist that toured the country. Apparently she was pretty well known on the east coast and was beginning to make quite a name for herself in the poetry world. So one day she mentioned me that she would be coming to perform at a Slam in my area. All the time that I had been officially getting acquainted with her she refused to describe herself or let me call her so I had no idea of her physical. All I had was my imagination and some preconceived notions but I figured that so far her mental and spirit were beautiful so the physical had to earth shattering.
*********
I walk into the Blue Chakra dressed in a navy blue Sean John velour sweat suit, a matching baseball hat and some Timberlands. I sat in the back of the room as several people had already asked me if I wanted to do a piece. The atmosphere was tropical with a dash of Africa. The set was in a small Jamaican restaurant so there were huge flags and murals of Bob Marley all over the place. The lights were low and the incenses were burning long and strong. I started to relax as I vibed with the congo drums and sipped on my Red Stripe as the long dusty blonde loc’d emcee got on the mic and started the show.
I sat in my little corner of the room waiting for a signal as poet after poet entered and departed from my mental membrane. And then it seemed as if someone pressed the mute button as a mahogany beauty with big inkwells of eyes and ebony painted lips walked up on the moderate stage. She was wearing a light blue baby tee with the word VISION written in shimmery blue and the tiniest light blue denim mini skirt I’d ever since on anyone in my presence. Her breasts were a soulful Sunday dinner that left you lazy but happily satisfied. Her nipples were screaming “DON’T LEAVE WITHOUT TAKING A PLATE?”. Her legs were those molded by the fingers of a world class sculptor using her best piece of clay. She stood in the middle of the stage with her lacquer legs spread apart military style as her wild bush of hair screamed peace. Her energy was liquid oxygen and she filled the room with an electric freshness. This woman was all of 5’2 but the Queen Amazon stood before us and no one could deny her presence. She leisurely scanned the room in an undeterred fashion until her eyes landed on me. She smiled and graced the room with the light of the moon and with two deep stars pressing deep into her cheeks.
She started to speak and her voice was a trio jazz band. Oh my, the flirty piano was whispering bass can-Is and treble want-yous in my ear. The sexy saxophone was running feathery scales up and down my spine. The seductive bass was strumming my stroking my dick to a slow and mind blowing rhythm. Once I got pass the beat I heard the words and they were a rare classic and a must have in everyone’s collection of masterpieces. I couldn’t breathe and didn’t want to blink for fear that I would wake up. When she was done the applause was deafening, she glanced soulfully at me and knew her third move was effective, as she exited the room.
My feet were itching to follow her so I ran out of the room like I was a Jamaican track star. She wasn’t in the entrance of the restaurant so I decided to peek into the bathroom before going outside. BINGO! She was lending over the sink checking her makeup giving anyone that walked into the room a clear view of an ass that could steal a lead singer’s solo. That’s when I notice why she seemed so tall she was wearing a pair of black mile high club stilettos. My eyes met her eyes in the mirror and my dick jump with anticipation as I looked around to make sure no one was watching me.
I bumrushed her into the empty bathroom stall as her laughter became harps in my ear. Hell, we both knew foreplay was over when she walked off the stage. I kissed her passionately as I pushed her roughly into the corner I ran my hands over her smooth thighs and pulled her piece of skirt up. Her tongue was a sweet savage writing haikus in my mouth. My hands moved under her shirt, up to her ain’t to proud to beg breasts and I traced a spiral of candles around her engorged nipples. I pulled away from her ripen fruity lips and I let my tongue follow the road that my fingers had recently paved with scented candles. Once my tongue reached the summit of all Godiva chocolates my mouth began to water as I flicked my tongue over her nipple and nibbled on it.
She gasped and began panting, as my other hand massaged her hot pussy feeling an African drum beating a fervor message of ecstasy. I ripped her panties off and I swear I heard cymbals crashing together as she came all over her thighs and my hand. She lifted her thick thigh up so her pussy was pressing against me so I grabbed her ass with my hands and she got the hint. She wrapped those pillars of heaven around my waist and began to grind lewd and lasciviously. She gave me an all access pass to her body as I dropped my pants down to my ankle and slid my granite cut dick into her scorching hot honeycomb hideout. I used the pass for all it was worth and touched her like I was blind and she was Braille.
Her moaning had me punch drunk till I wanted to climb inside her and stay there forever. But after she came for like 3rd time, I put her down and sat down on the toilet as I watched her lazily feather touching herself. It took her a minute to realize I wasn’t touching her. She opened her big eyes and I just wanted to jump inside of them. I held her buttery soft hands as she walked majestically in front of me and I turned her around so I could look at her show stealing ass. She smelled like sandalwood with a hint of honeysuckle and as my tongue strolled down the valley of her ass. I pushed her forward as my tongue continued to make its rounds right down to the grassy knoll. As I traced flowers on her pussy lips I realized that her nectar was honeysuckled flavored. She moaned loudly as my tongue became a hummingbird and dipped into her honeydew.
I was officially addicted to this cat as my tongue turned tricks on every corner in hopes of getting to the bottom. I sucked and blew on her clit like it was a military bugle waking up the entire camp. My fingers were bobbing for multiple orgasms as they double dutched in her ass and pussy. She pushed my head away with all the strength she had left in her. I stood up and she slowly turned me a round so my back was to the door of the stall. She pulled her lil bit of skirt down as she sat on the toilet seat and pulled down my pants. She looked at me as she wrapped her juicy lips around my rock hard dick. I almost fainted as I felt her tongue slither along the underside of my dick and the tip touch her tonsils. OH my gawd, she was deep throating me and I swear a burst of colors formed in front of my eyes. I felt dizzy yet exhilarated with pleasure and desire. My knees began to shake as she cupped my balls and rubbed my thighs. My hands grabbed the back of her head as I gyrated and fucked her face hard as I felt myself coming close to a sublime eruption. I shouted “Im cumming” as she grabbed my ass, moaned and forced her mouth to the root of my manhood. That move caused me to cum all in her mouth and she took it all. I thought to myself a swallower equals a keeper. As she massaged my dick out of her mouth she mumbled something that sounded like “Checkmate”.
2003
I felt like I truly belonged there and was so comfortable that I would greet folks as they came into the room. However one day, I got a private message and me being the charismatic host I was I replied without a thought.
UniqueVision: Hi! I’m new here...how do I get people to talk to me?
BlackIce: Welcome! Just jump into the conversation…the people are very nice in here…enjoy yourself.
UniqueVision: Thanks for the welcome. Ill try to get in where I fit in. *s* So, where are you from?
BlackIce: No need for thanks! I’m from da dirty south and U?
So this was the beginning, although I had no idea that she had been eyeing me for weeks before she launched the blitz by moving her first piece out slowly. I didn’t really pay her any mind because I had my sights on throwing those worn out ‘punk ass’ speedos away and putting on some ‘freaky’ briefs. She was a bit too far away to help me with my situation but little did I know she had other ideas for me and popping my freak cherry wasn’t one of them. Months passed and I was cordial to her and she always spoke to me whenever she saw me online.
Then just as I lost my freak she seemed to have set the game on speed cause I got an email from her. Personally, I was a bit baffled as to how she had gotten my email address. Hell, maybe I gave it to her in passing but I have no recollection of it. But honestly during this time period I didn’t have much memory of anything with her. It was as if she was an “indefinite article” in a sentence or a song that is constantly skipped on a CD.
To: BlackIce@hotmail.com
From: UniqueVision@hotmail.com
Subject: Something interesting….
In the land of cyber sex and alter egos
A constant ray of peace and realness lingers
When you come in it follows you where ever you go.
Cool water blue with fiery impulse red highlights
Your magnetic yet quiet ambiance
Is so strangely alluring and comforting.
There’s an intoxicating nectar of calmness
Glistening on your regal lips
But its tainted with loneliness in your right eye
And airbrushed with animalistic craving in your left.
Endless dreams of waltzes and two steps
Sending the room into a canvas of watercolors
Is that smile or a frown?
Hard to tell as everything is bleeding together.
Can I follow you?
Can I come in?
Can I be some company for your right eye?
Can you see yet?
Honestly she did a sneak attack on my mind and sacked my heart for a 10 yard loss. I truly didn’t see her coming but this second move was definitely not subtle but it was tactical enough to get my full attention. I swear the blinders melted from my heart when I read the last line of the poem. She waited patiently for me to wipe that ‘punk ass’ look off my face and put my freak game face on with pride.
I immediately wrote her back apologizing for ignoring her and praised her on the truth that she painted with her words. She was understanding and gracious and told me to forget about the past and enjoy the present. Nevertheless, I was a bit ashamed of myself for being so self contained for months as I was on the prowl for a taste of the honey love.
As I began to sponge her up, she tickled and fondled emotions I didn’t know existed. She was one of those women that made you feel like you could fly with clipped wings. She had a lot of substance skimming the surface of her essence and even more in the abyss of her soul. I felt like I was water-skiing and scuba diving whenever I talked with her online.
She was a spoken word artist that toured the country. Apparently she was pretty well known on the east coast and was beginning to make quite a name for herself in the poetry world. So one day she mentioned me that she would be coming to perform at a Slam in my area. All the time that I had been officially getting acquainted with her she refused to describe herself or let me call her so I had no idea of her physical. All I had was my imagination and some preconceived notions but I figured that so far her mental and spirit were beautiful so the physical had to earth shattering.
*********
I walk into the Blue Chakra dressed in a navy blue Sean John velour sweat suit, a matching baseball hat and some Timberlands. I sat in the back of the room as several people had already asked me if I wanted to do a piece. The atmosphere was tropical with a dash of Africa. The set was in a small Jamaican restaurant so there were huge flags and murals of Bob Marley all over the place. The lights were low and the incenses were burning long and strong. I started to relax as I vibed with the congo drums and sipped on my Red Stripe as the long dusty blonde loc’d emcee got on the mic and started the show.
I sat in my little corner of the room waiting for a signal as poet after poet entered and departed from my mental membrane. And then it seemed as if someone pressed the mute button as a mahogany beauty with big inkwells of eyes and ebony painted lips walked up on the moderate stage. She was wearing a light blue baby tee with the word VISION written in shimmery blue and the tiniest light blue denim mini skirt I’d ever since on anyone in my presence. Her breasts were a soulful Sunday dinner that left you lazy but happily satisfied. Her nipples were screaming “DON’T LEAVE WITHOUT TAKING A PLATE?”. Her legs were those molded by the fingers of a world class sculptor using her best piece of clay. She stood in the middle of the stage with her lacquer legs spread apart military style as her wild bush of hair screamed peace. Her energy was liquid oxygen and she filled the room with an electric freshness. This woman was all of 5’2 but the Queen Amazon stood before us and no one could deny her presence. She leisurely scanned the room in an undeterred fashion until her eyes landed on me. She smiled and graced the room with the light of the moon and with two deep stars pressing deep into her cheeks.
She started to speak and her voice was a trio jazz band. Oh my, the flirty piano was whispering bass can-Is and treble want-yous in my ear. The sexy saxophone was running feathery scales up and down my spine. The seductive bass was strumming my stroking my dick to a slow and mind blowing rhythm. Once I got pass the beat I heard the words and they were a rare classic and a must have in everyone’s collection of masterpieces. I couldn’t breathe and didn’t want to blink for fear that I would wake up. When she was done the applause was deafening, she glanced soulfully at me and knew her third move was effective, as she exited the room.
My feet were itching to follow her so I ran out of the room like I was a Jamaican track star. She wasn’t in the entrance of the restaurant so I decided to peek into the bathroom before going outside. BINGO! She was lending over the sink checking her makeup giving anyone that walked into the room a clear view of an ass that could steal a lead singer’s solo. That’s when I notice why she seemed so tall she was wearing a pair of black mile high club stilettos. My eyes met her eyes in the mirror and my dick jump with anticipation as I looked around to make sure no one was watching me.
I bumrushed her into the empty bathroom stall as her laughter became harps in my ear. Hell, we both knew foreplay was over when she walked off the stage. I kissed her passionately as I pushed her roughly into the corner I ran my hands over her smooth thighs and pulled her piece of skirt up. Her tongue was a sweet savage writing haikus in my mouth. My hands moved under her shirt, up to her ain’t to proud to beg breasts and I traced a spiral of candles around her engorged nipples. I pulled away from her ripen fruity lips and I let my tongue follow the road that my fingers had recently paved with scented candles. Once my tongue reached the summit of all Godiva chocolates my mouth began to water as I flicked my tongue over her nipple and nibbled on it.
She gasped and began panting, as my other hand massaged her hot pussy feeling an African drum beating a fervor message of ecstasy. I ripped her panties off and I swear I heard cymbals crashing together as she came all over her thighs and my hand. She lifted her thick thigh up so her pussy was pressing against me so I grabbed her ass with my hands and she got the hint. She wrapped those pillars of heaven around my waist and began to grind lewd and lasciviously. She gave me an all access pass to her body as I dropped my pants down to my ankle and slid my granite cut dick into her scorching hot honeycomb hideout. I used the pass for all it was worth and touched her like I was blind and she was Braille.
Her moaning had me punch drunk till I wanted to climb inside her and stay there forever. But after she came for like 3rd time, I put her down and sat down on the toilet as I watched her lazily feather touching herself. It took her a minute to realize I wasn’t touching her. She opened her big eyes and I just wanted to jump inside of them. I held her buttery soft hands as she walked majestically in front of me and I turned her around so I could look at her show stealing ass. She smelled like sandalwood with a hint of honeysuckle and as my tongue strolled down the valley of her ass. I pushed her forward as my tongue continued to make its rounds right down to the grassy knoll. As I traced flowers on her pussy lips I realized that her nectar was honeysuckled flavored. She moaned loudly as my tongue became a hummingbird and dipped into her honeydew.
I was officially addicted to this cat as my tongue turned tricks on every corner in hopes of getting to the bottom. I sucked and blew on her clit like it was a military bugle waking up the entire camp. My fingers were bobbing for multiple orgasms as they double dutched in her ass and pussy. She pushed my head away with all the strength she had left in her. I stood up and she slowly turned me a round so my back was to the door of the stall. She pulled her lil bit of skirt down as she sat on the toilet seat and pulled down my pants. She looked at me as she wrapped her juicy lips around my rock hard dick. I almost fainted as I felt her tongue slither along the underside of my dick and the tip touch her tonsils. OH my gawd, she was deep throating me and I swear a burst of colors formed in front of my eyes. I felt dizzy yet exhilarated with pleasure and desire. My knees began to shake as she cupped my balls and rubbed my thighs. My hands grabbed the back of her head as I gyrated and fucked her face hard as I felt myself coming close to a sublime eruption. I shouted “Im cumming” as she grabbed my ass, moaned and forced her mouth to the root of my manhood. That move caused me to cum all in her mouth and she took it all. I thought to myself a swallower equals a keeper. As she massaged my dick out of her mouth she mumbled something that sounded like “Checkmate”.
2003
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I am....
Confident.
a masterpiece.
Beautiful.
Graceful.
Smart.
Equipped.
Powerful.
Worthy.
Valuable.
Lovable.
Free.
Successful.
Happy.
Becoming healthier everyday.
Abundant.
Motivated.
Positive.
A influential thought leader.
A great strategist.
Creative.
A swimmer.
Burning fat and losing weight.
In LOVE.
Meeting men who want to date me.
Enjoying my life.
Bringing in multiple streams of income.
Great at what I do.
Passionate.
Open.
Feminine.
Comfortable in my skin.
Capable.
Home.
Savvy businesswoman.
Forgiven.
Able to talk to my spirit guardians.
Able to have full body orgasms.
Able to support myself and travel on a whim.
Able to astral travel.
Growing.
Healing.
Authentic.
Love.
a masterpiece.
Beautiful.
Graceful.
Smart.
Equipped.
Powerful.
Worthy.
Valuable.
Lovable.
Free.
Successful.
Happy.
Becoming healthier everyday.
Abundant.
Motivated.
Positive.
A influential thought leader.
A great strategist.
Creative.
A swimmer.
Burning fat and losing weight.
In LOVE.
Meeting men who want to date me.
Enjoying my life.
Bringing in multiple streams of income.
Great at what I do.
Passionate.
Open.
Feminine.
Comfortable in my skin.
Capable.
Home.
Savvy businesswoman.
Forgiven.
Able to talk to my spirit guardians.
Able to have full body orgasms.
Able to support myself and travel on a whim.
Able to astral travel.
Growing.
Healing.
Authentic.
Love.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Ride in the Banana Boat
I am that Island that people say you aren't!
I don't apologize for my self-centeredness.
In my world, self-centeredness is the key to world peace and lack of ego-tripping.
The question is if you were stranded on an island, would that be a bad thing? Grab a glass of freshly squeezed juice and enjoy all the creative stuff this site has to offer. Oh, and I LOVE feedback on my projects (this is necessary to get better and be GREAT!)
I don't apologize for my self-centeredness.
In my world, self-centeredness is the key to world peace and lack of ego-tripping.
The question is if you were stranded on an island, would that be a bad thing? Grab a glass of freshly squeezed juice and enjoy all the creative stuff this site has to offer. Oh, and I LOVE feedback on my projects (this is necessary to get better and be GREAT!)
Introducing "Being Victorious..."
I am happy to announce my new vlog series called "Being Victorious..." where I will share my life, the risks I take and the lessons I learn to the world. I hope that videos inspire, motivate and encourage you to make every moment count as you live. My goal is to find my passion and to just do things without months of planning (procrasination). I have to be okay with NOT knowing and just DO it. I use to always say that I was standing on the edge of a cliff afraid to jump and I just needed someone to push me cause I believe I would fly but the fear of the what if scared me too much. Enjoy the introduction video and post your homework!
Welcome to the life of "Being Victorious..."
Almost
Can you smell my insecurity when I walk into the room? I often wonder if it comes in different shapes and forms but maybe you have the sensitivity of acknowledging auras. I lean foward in wonderment,so tell me is there truly a slash in my aura? You look a bit perplexed at this sudden question but please excuse me when I'm unsure of where I stand I speak off the top of my head. I thank the frail looking waiter as he pulls the chair out so I can sit down. Its a bit of an awkward moment and definitely not the graceful event I imagine in my dreams.
Even in the darkness of your skin I can see a tinge of embarassment spread across your cheeks. My thighs brush the table causing it to tip your Coors Light over. I reach quickly to catch it but the sleeve of my shirt gets caught in the flicker of the candle. At this point my arms are waving in every direction and the purse I was carrying has smacked a tray out of another waiter's hand. Food is flying everywhere and someone has thrown a glass of water my way, missing its target completely but right in my face. The frail waiter is still holding the chair in shock as I step from the table and grab a pitcher of water from a nearby table and extinguish my shirt. I curse myself because I planned to take the shirt back. I only bought it to impress you during our first meeting.
As my arm blisters I look around the room with tears in my eyes. Spilled food and drinks pointing accusatory in my direction. You remain seated and I as look at you your eyes look down immediately in shame. I take a deep breathe and whisper I'm sorry as I walk out of the restaurant. If you didn't know I was insecure I made sure you got a one act play of the severity of it. Sadly, you never come out to comfort me or reassure me thus allowing me to remain fearful of being me.
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
Garden Update
I've watched the heat burn the potential of my crooked neck squash. I had one growing and then the next day it was GONE! I don't know if a bird plucked it off or if the heat retarded it to the point of disappearing. Nonetheless, squash plant is looking pretty dismal right now. Not even sure it can be savaged at this point.
My beets are still hanging in there although I've peeked and noticed the bulb is tiny and not really growing so I might just be eating the greens.
I also noticed that my bell peppers are surviving as well as the cayenne plant. I was surprised today during watering when I actually saw the beginnings of peppers.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Character Observation
I'm reading a book called "Cry baby" by Fay Cunningham and there is a development between the main character, Gina and a male character Adam.
There is an obvious passion between the 2, which Gina is fighting hard. She enjoys the sex with Adam but then feeling guilty for "giving in" to him. Why is it "giving in" if you gain pleasure from it? I am finding myself wanting to shake her at times because she requires so much from him yet refuses to give him a break. The guy went to cover a story in Iraq and she gave him grief about not contacting her, after hearing his reason, she felt he could have at least texted her. WTF?! It's clear that she has had some awful relationships in the past and is making Adam pay for all of them. Does she sound familiar?
There is a point in the story when they have sex and she starts to think that he is using her for sex and could have at least texted her a "thank you" and when she does check her phone, he had. She immediately finds another fault instead of being happy with the guy.
I'm not sure if it was the writer's intent to make the character so annoying towards her intimate relationship with this guy but it is working. As I've been studying relationship's paradigms, I certainly see how her behavior is sabotaging and setting her up for the let down she is expecting.
Why not let the past be the past and help each man create a pleasing story moment for moment? If you are busy with your career and know the man is busy with his as well yet when he is with you, you are his focus, what's the problem? Expectations breed disappointment time and time again.
Be happy in the moment!
There is an obvious passion between the 2, which Gina is fighting hard. She enjoys the sex with Adam but then feeling guilty for "giving in" to him. Why is it "giving in" if you gain pleasure from it? I am finding myself wanting to shake her at times because she requires so much from him yet refuses to give him a break. The guy went to cover a story in Iraq and she gave him grief about not contacting her, after hearing his reason, she felt he could have at least texted her. WTF?! It's clear that she has had some awful relationships in the past and is making Adam pay for all of them. Does she sound familiar?
There is a point in the story when they have sex and she starts to think that he is using her for sex and could have at least texted her a "thank you" and when she does check her phone, he had. She immediately finds another fault instead of being happy with the guy.
I'm not sure if it was the writer's intent to make the character so annoying towards her intimate relationship with this guy but it is working. As I've been studying relationship's paradigms, I certainly see how her behavior is sabotaging and setting her up for the let down she is expecting.
Why not let the past be the past and help each man create a pleasing story moment for moment? If you are busy with your career and know the man is busy with his as well yet when he is with you, you are his focus, what's the problem? Expectations breed disappointment time and time again.
Be happy in the moment!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Thai Basil
Crooked neck Squash
Newest Garden Woe
I swear tomato plants are so special! So for a few weeks I've noticed a "dust" on the leaves. I know sometimes they tell you not to wet plant leaves so I was a bit hesitant. I also started noticing the leaves turning yellow and slumping. I began asking around and looking for interventions to save my plant.
I was talking to a colleague who had been telling me to watch out for hornworms, which I haven't seen yet. But she was telling me that if the leaves are moist yet drooping then I'm over watering and of course if they are crispy then not getting enough water. So, I noticed a bit of both on the plant which I I thought meant I wasn't being consistent with my watering (If I don't water daily then its every other day).
This weekend the leaves were looking pretty bad so I thought well maybe they need a bigger space to grow. I went out and purchased 2-5 gallon buckets and some tomato fertilizer and transplanted them into the buckets. I trimmed the branches and gave them a good watering and felt like I had fixed the problem.
I also decided to use a water bottle to slowly water one of my plants that is always slumping and just regularly water the other one. Today, I went out on the balcony and I hadn't watered the one plant yet because the soil was still wet BUT ALL the leaves were drooping and yellow. I moved in for a closer look and noticed them tiny red critters running across the leaves. I was mortified!!!!!
I've since researched it and found out that my poor tomato plant is being attacked my spider mites. The dust on the leaves was a sign because it was actually webs. So, I may have cause this with inconsistent watering and/or given the plant too much nitrogen (I was adding plant food weekly).
I'm gonna try to savage my plant and have since watered the leaves and sprayed it with some stuff I bought when the cabbage loopers were noticed. I've also quarantined it because I have all my tomato plants near each other.
I was talking to a colleague who had been telling me to watch out for hornworms, which I haven't seen yet. But she was telling me that if the leaves are moist yet drooping then I'm over watering and of course if they are crispy then not getting enough water. So, I noticed a bit of both on the plant which I I thought meant I wasn't being consistent with my watering (If I don't water daily then its every other day).
This weekend the leaves were looking pretty bad so I thought well maybe they need a bigger space to grow. I went out and purchased 2-5 gallon buckets and some tomato fertilizer and transplanted them into the buckets. I trimmed the branches and gave them a good watering and felt like I had fixed the problem.
I also decided to use a water bottle to slowly water one of my plants that is always slumping and just regularly water the other one. Today, I went out on the balcony and I hadn't watered the one plant yet because the soil was still wet BUT ALL the leaves were drooping and yellow. I moved in for a closer look and noticed them tiny red critters running across the leaves. I was mortified!!!!!
I've since researched it and found out that my poor tomato plant is being attacked my spider mites. The dust on the leaves was a sign because it was actually webs. So, I may have cause this with inconsistent watering and/or given the plant too much nitrogen (I was adding plant food weekly).
I'm gonna try to savage my plant and have since watered the leaves and sprayed it with some stuff I bought when the cabbage loopers were noticed. I've also quarantined it because I have all my tomato plants near each other.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Gardening Seed Inventory
I went out to find some seeds to help one of my colleagues start their garden and when I got home I pulled out all my seeds and realized I had A LOT and even duplicates of some. So today, I will list my inventory for my sake.
Beet, Excaliber
Brussels Sprouts, Catskill
Carrot, Scarlet Nantes
Cauliflower, Snowball X
Chinese Cabbage, Michihli
Cucumber, National Pickling
Cucumber, Organic Sumter
Lettuce, Buttercrunch
Mustard Greens, Florida Broadleaf
Onion, Evergreen Long White Bunching
Onion, Southport White Globe
Pea, Cascadia
Pepper, California Wonder
Pepper, Organic Cali Wonder 300TMR
Red Bell Pepper, Organic Cal Wonder (2pks)
Spinach, Bloomsdale
Spinach Mustard, Tendergreen
Squash, Organic Black Beauty (Zucchini)
Squash, Fordhook Zucchini (Summer)
Squash, Straightneck Early Yellow
Squash, Winter Spaghetti
Swiss Chard, Technicolor Mix
Tomato, Red Cherry (Large Fruited)
Tomato, Yellow Pear
After going through the seeds, I came up with an idea. I will sell starter gardening kits. Let me know if you are interested.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
The Thirst
It started out innocently enough, until my craving turned insatiable. Walking down the street has become torturous as I see potential preys within an arms length away. There was a time when this need was given to me daily and often, like a baby having regular feedings and then in a blink of an eye it was rationed out.
Every day I go without, I feel less pliable, I am changing.
I walk pass a group of kids with my hands stuffed in my pockets, they stop and stare as their ball rolls in my direction. I slow down, this is my chance. I look around and wonder if they can see that I am thirsty. The hairs on my arm stand at attention as the youngest child moves closer. My heart beat skips and the street sounds dissipates into a frantic, high speed drumming in my ears. I pull my hands out of my pocket and can no longer see straight as I bend down searching.
A soft breeze hits my face when the youngest grabs the ball and steps back mumbling “Sorry”. The blood drains from my face and my vision clears up to the reality. I stand up, run my hands over my mouth and quickly stuff them back in my pockets as I scurry away.
Each missed opportunity, I become a stone gargoyle guarding the entrance of all things soft and light.
I stare at my computer screen which is full of pictures of prospects. I could ask someone out on a date, something simple like coffee at Starbucks cause dudes are so cheap these days. I replied to one who looked interesting enough and waited for his reply. I swear I never get a word in edge wise and have long given up thinking these calls were about me.
This house needs some heat cause my heart is becoming an icebox.
As I sat over my second cup of chai it’s evident that dude peeked in and decided to stand me up. Fucker! He doesn’t know how lucky he is. I stand up and robotically walk towards the door when in walks an old colleague who I hadn’t seen in ages. She catches me off guard and hugs me tight.
I become soft as play dough, her touch was like a cold glass of water in the hot sun. I felt every atom in my body sigh in relief. My skin was hungry for touch and I am satiated for now.
Every day I go without, I feel less pliable, I am changing.
I walk pass a group of kids with my hands stuffed in my pockets, they stop and stare as their ball rolls in my direction. I slow down, this is my chance. I look around and wonder if they can see that I am thirsty. The hairs on my arm stand at attention as the youngest child moves closer. My heart beat skips and the street sounds dissipates into a frantic, high speed drumming in my ears. I pull my hands out of my pocket and can no longer see straight as I bend down searching.
A soft breeze hits my face when the youngest grabs the ball and steps back mumbling “Sorry”. The blood drains from my face and my vision clears up to the reality. I stand up, run my hands over my mouth and quickly stuff them back in my pockets as I scurry away.
Each missed opportunity, I become a stone gargoyle guarding the entrance of all things soft and light.
I stare at my computer screen which is full of pictures of prospects. I could ask someone out on a date, something simple like coffee at Starbucks cause dudes are so cheap these days. I replied to one who looked interesting enough and waited for his reply. I swear I never get a word in edge wise and have long given up thinking these calls were about me.
This house needs some heat cause my heart is becoming an icebox.
As I sat over my second cup of chai it’s evident that dude peeked in and decided to stand me up. Fucker! He doesn’t know how lucky he is. I stand up and robotically walk towards the door when in walks an old colleague who I hadn’t seen in ages. She catches me off guard and hugs me tight.
I become soft as play dough, her touch was like a cold glass of water in the hot sun. I felt every atom in my body sigh in relief. My skin was hungry for touch and I am satiated for now.
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