It started out innocently enough, until my craving turned insatiable. Walking down the street has become torturous as I see potential preys within an arms length away. There was a time when this need was given to me daily and often, like a baby having regular feedings and then in a blink of an eye it was rationed out.
Every day I go without, I feel less pliable, I am changing.
I walk pass a group of kids with my hands stuffed in my pockets, they stop and stare as their ball rolls in my direction. I slow down, this is my chance. I look around and wonder if they can see that I am thirsty. The hairs on my arm stand at attention as the youngest child moves closer. My heart beat skips and the street sounds dissipates into a frantic, high speed drumming in my ears. I pull my hands out of my pocket and can no longer see straight as I bend down searching.
A soft breeze hits my face when the youngest grabs the ball and steps back mumbling “Sorry”. The blood drains from my face and my vision clears up to the reality. I stand up, run my hands over my mouth and quickly stuff them back in my pockets as I scurry away.
Each missed opportunity, I become a stone gargoyle guarding the entrance of all things soft and light.
I stare at my computer screen which is full of pictures of prospects. I could ask someone out on a date, something simple like coffee at Starbucks cause dudes are so cheap these days. I replied to one who looked interesting enough and waited for his reply. I swear I never get a word in edge wise and have long given up thinking these calls were about me.
This house needs some heat cause my heart is becoming an icebox.
As I sat over my second cup of chai it’s evident that dude peeked in and decided to stand me up. Fucker! He doesn’t know how lucky he is. I stand up and robotically walk towards the door when in walks an old colleague who I hadn’t seen in ages. She catches me off guard and hugs me tight.
I become soft as play dough, her touch was like a cold glass of water in the hot sun. I felt every atom in my body sigh in relief. My skin was hungry for touch and I am satiated for now.
