In medias res - The Secret Within

In the waiting room having a panic attack. I need to tell him everything! But can I?

Keith has always been a straight shooter and respected people more if they just told the truth. The consequences were increased with each word courage permitted. My hands were soaking the lap of my raw silk dress as I look over at his hulk-like body as he sits awkwardly in the regular people chairs. He is a beautiful man with an immaculately groomed goatee, huge callused hands with a huge white smile that hides so much pain. This is a big day for him but I am looking for a way out. If I walk into the doctor's office with him, as he refuses to let me do this alone, he will find out. I considered fainting but realized that it would put myself in the pit of damnation where I have no control. I'm afraid if he finds out he will love me less and worse of all fear me.

Fear is always the thing that prevents me from just opening my mouth and just telling him. But there is a time and a place for everything. And I'm not sure if there will ever be a time to tell him this particular truth.

"Babe, are you okay?" His deep tenored voice rouses me out of my thoughts as he pulls my stiff body closer to him, leans down and kiss my slightly damp forehead.


I smile weakly at him and croak tentatively. "We need to talk."


He looks at me questioning through his warm chestnut eyes and instead of saying anymore he stood up and went over to the plexiglass window to inform the receptionist that we were stepping outside.

We met under the most discreet circumstances as I am a psychic or medium as we prefer to be called these days. Keith Bachallard was referred to me by a colleague who used my services to find a kidnapped little girl named Amber. Keith wanted desperately to become a detective and join the elite special forces of this club as he was also a former Army soldier who carried quite a bit of importance in certain circles. He barged into my parlor with a chip on his shoulder and scepticism glistening on his lips as I drank my morning tea and read the newspaper on my velvet gold couch. My clientele is referral based with the occasional random curiosity seeker who heard rumors that fortunes are told here. Thankfully, my antique store with its ever-changing window dressing allows me to maintain my eccentric nature and use this to deter the rumors since its against the law to practice parapsychology.



As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew I would fall hard for him. "Jesenia Christianson?" He asked accusingly. He hands were held in a tight fist and his mouth, that beautiful mouth that sang my name, was frowning.



I slowly put down my cup of tea and folded my newspaper and stood up as I placed it on the small table beside the couch. I put my hand out to make his acquaintance and smiled sweetly. "Oh, it's so wonderful to make your acquaintance."



He winced as though I had thrown boiling water on him. It was apparent that he was the type that liked to intimidate and control people and situations. Little did he know I only deal with people's authentic self even if they have no idea who that self is. This is typical practice for me to remove the cloaks and facades within seconds and deal with only the person that is within.



The secret to my success, however, is the aching in my bones I get when there are negative and dark energies within a certain distance of me. With Keith, my bones tingled with delight so I knew he was the man for me. As soon as our hands touched, he was dismantled in a matter of minutes and five years later, we sat in a doctor's office awaiting results of fertility tests.


We find a comfortable bench across the street to sit on. Even though Keith got his wish by solving the case years ago and was promoted to detective he still found it difficult to read me. So, he sat looking at me and waited for me to begin.


Taking a deep breath and wringing my hands. I can't believe I allowed the tingles in my bones to get the best of me because no one ever understands the full magnitude of the secret I hold within. "I am not who or even what you think I am. I've told you from day one that I couldn't give you children. I suggested we adopt instead you have put me a position to tell you a truth I can't bare to share." I can't bare to look at him if I want to keep my courage but I peek out the corner of my eye and see him staring intently at me. He has always spoken about wanting to having children and told me after we had been together for two year he was insisting that I was the woman he wanted to sire children with.


"I can have a children but..." I continue because I can tell that he wants to hear me out. "I can't have children that you can raise up and call your own. It's all very complicated but even the doctor would not be able to explain this situation. I have an extra chromosome that allows me to reproduce without the assistance of a man."


"So what are you saying you don't need me to get pregnant?" Keith clears his throat which is an indicator that he is confused. He is staring at the side of my face as if willing me to look at him. I turn towards him and slowly nod my head and put my hand up so he knows I have more to reveal. Laughing nervously to myself, that wasn't even the real bomb.

"I was born centuries ago into a life where I was an orphaned outcast with a revered brother. Everyone knows of his birth and death I never understood why I was ignored and and many thought I died and didn't care to know about my rebirth. The night I died I went into labor and gave myself life again."


"What do you mean, you gave yourself life after death?" Keith was rubbing his goatee inquisitively. I stare in shocked that he doesn't seem alarmed by this nugget of information. I guess he is scrambling my ability to predict his reaction because I anticipated anger and unbelief at this point.


"Well, what this means is in order to live I give birth and..." I look at the doctor's building and count cars. This is the hard part of the revelation because I've never gotten to this point with any man in my lifetime. Usually they are seeking to Baker Act me for even suggesting Jesus is my brother and that I was born "with Christ". I've never said it out loud either but he is staring at me with an inquiry that is full of open mindedness. I close my eyes and finish "I have to eat the flesh of the seed."


I open my eyes and look at him as he stroke his goatee and stands up. He walks towards the street slowly. He gets blurry as my eyes begin tearing up, I let the tears fall freely when I hear his voice softly in my ear. "Can we keep one?"

Anew ME

This weekend, I really got into the cleaning and purging spirit in my study. During this time, I ran across pages and pages of words I've strung into a line called a sentences and pieced together to form a unique jewel called writing. Its always delightful to re-visit and touch my jewels. They remind me of the gift that I have and encourage me to spin and weave more often for the fun of it. I'm here to say...I am back, anew ME!

Watch out world, here I come to dazzle you with my wordplay and twisting plots.

If this is your first time visiting this site...I have a few stories at the very beginning with articles I found during my knowledge surfing as fillers until I returned!

VA