Seasons change, feelings change and people change.
Interestingly enough, I was born in the fall yet my entire being goes into hibernation as soon as the weather drops a degree minus a fahrenheit. I have been falling deeper and deeper into a sleep stupor that I have been trying to busy away to no avail. I'm moving slower and body parts are starting to ache and creak like an old house.
I was watching the Biggest Loser and I had an epiphany about all the emotional cleansing that goes on. The lack of their comfort foods is the reason why they all are weepy. I know if I wasn't able to go to the bodega downstairs and get a Little Debbie or a bag of chips I would be the biggest crybaby. Seriously, they would hate me for all the whining I would do. I'm not proud of my junk addiction but I'm honest about it. I know I need to shake it for the betterment of self but it's so very complex.
All my feelings rise to the surface during this time of year. I really get to see people for truly who they are but more important I see myself. I have been having out of body experiences where I have watched myself in action and honestly I didn't like what I saw. I'm on the road of being a bitter, selfish woman unless I change things soon. The road less traveled is one of discomfort and I am making steps to embrace it. I'm a ball buster because I'm a controlling, domineering bitch who is afraid of her own shine so she stands in the shadows like a shrinking violet.
